A Midnight Stroll
by Queenhopetheirin
Summary: Cassandra explores Haven when she hears someone in the practice yard late one night.
1. Chapter 1

Cassandra stood outside her cabin as the cool night air flowed over her skin. She couldn't sleep, her cabin felt too warm, and she was tired of tossing and turning. She opened a window before leaving to take a short walk. A faint steady clink of a sword hitting a practice dummy caught her attention.

Curiosity pulled her toward the training yard, the big wooden gates stood cracked open just wide enough to sneak through them. Cassandra's eyes wandered until she saw a lone figure in the distance. She wandered down to the practice yard recognizing the figure as she got closer.

"Commander, is something wrong?" Cassandra asked concerned.

A grunt followed by another clink was the answer. She watched as Cullen put all of his energy into the next swing and he turned toward her. "What do you want?" He asked breathless and agitated.

"I enjoy watching you train, but I was wondering why you are up so late." Cassandra tried again.

"I woke up because of my dreams and I couldn't get back to sleep, sometimes practice helps, but I find myself more frustrated." Cullen punched the dummy and then shook his hand. Cassandra tried not to laugh but failed.

"Would you like to try hand to hand combat training? I do not practice enough myself, but it might be more challenging than hitting something that can't fight back," Cassandra offered.

Cassandra remembered then she was in her night cloths without armor, "No armor allowed, it would take too long to change."

Cullen did not answer at first, but removed his heavy body armor leaving him wearing a cotton shirt and wool breaches. "I accept." He said as he picked up his armor and walked toward a grassy area.

Cassandra followed, once on the grassy area he put down his equipment once again. They stood facing each other, and then they moved. Cassandra attacked first sensing he needed a reason to attack her back.

With a single swing the battle began. Neither one could land a blow, but both tried. A swing to the head made Cullen duck, she tried a lower attack, but he deflected it easy enough. Cullen growled frustrated after a few minutes of missed blows and Cassandra took advantage of his frustration and with her foot she tripped him. Cullen grabbed at her as he went down, they landed so that Cassandra was flat on her back and Cullen pressed against her. He grabbed her hands and held them over her head his lips less than an inch from hers as he puffed catching his breath.

"Perhaps we chose the wrong method of sparring, neither one of us seem to gain the upper hand." Cassandra said breathless and turned on with Cullen holding her down to the ground.

"We could make it to your cabin without being noticed," Cullen conceded. He leaned down and kissed Cassandra, their energy sparked as their lips met. Cullen kept her hands still over her head as their kiss turned longer and more intense. Cassandra's legs opened so his body rested between them. Cullen ended the kiss, "Are you sure you want to continue?"

"Maker yes," Cassandra said trying to reach his lips, but he laughed and pushed himself to standing and offered her a hand.

"Let's take this to someplace more private than here," Cullen offered her a hand up, when she was standing he bent to pick up their things. They walked to the cabin not touching and not talking. Cassandra hoped he would not change his mind. She found herself more turned on anticipating his next kiss.

They reached the cabin and Cullen smirked, "Last chance seeker."

"Please come in," Cassandra offered, she opened the door and pulled her top over her head.

Cullen followed shutting the door behind him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him, his lips met hers demanding, and she responded in kind. Cullen's hands went to her bare breasts pushing her against the door. Cassandra moaned as he pinched her nipples, his mouth wandered down her body.

His mouth reached her waistband, and he pulled her pants down to the floor. She wasn't wearing small clothes, she didn't like them at night. Cullen grinned up at her as he nudged her legs apart. She moaned when he leaned in kissing her mound. He did not stop there. Cullen kissed her thighs alternating between the two before licking a path up toward her mound. He parted her lips and his tongue explored her heat.

Cassandra tried to find something to hold onto moaning and arching to give him better access. "Cullen I don't think I can keep standing while you…" She stated as he concentrated on her clit she lost all ability to think. She leaned against the door with her hips jutted out, she gasped as a finger pressed inside her. Another finger joined the first, her whole body vibrated as he increased the pressure and speed of his attention. She pressed into him encouraging him, and then it happened, she covered her mouth as she orgasm, and a low throaty chuckle caressed her ears as she bucked against Cullen's face.

Cullen kissed her stomach as he stood up, he took off what remained of his clothing before kissing Cassandra's mouth again, their naked bodies still at the door. Cullen lifted one of her legs as he slipped into her and moved her leg back to standing. Their bodies pressed together and his tongue explored her neck as he moved against her.

Cassandra wanted to reach back and grab Cullen's ass and force him to go faster, but he grabbed her arms and held them over her head. His movements seemed calculated to throw her off balance when she would act to help increase the speed he slowed down and she could not help but follow. With a backward step he pulled out of her and took her hand leading her to her bed.

He bent her over the edge of the bed and found her heat again, she moaned taking a hand rubbing her clit as he dug his fingers into her hips pounding against her groaning. She cried out as she felt herself tighten around Cullen. His cries matched hers as their bodies slapped together and then a satisfied roar as he eased in and out a final time.

Cassandra climbed on her bed and lay down lying on her back, Cullen joined her lying on top of her. "Are you comfortable Commander?" She laughed as he nodded against her breast.

Cassandra ran a lazy finger over Cullen's back muscles while he kissed along her neck. She enjoyed the feel of him over her and sighed as he licked her earlobe. He moved so his arms went under her shoulders. A quick motion and she found him deep in her once again. Cullen's lips hovered above hers, just out of reach. He moved slower this time, this was beyond the heavy needy sex of earlier. It was lovemaking, slow, steady, and earnest.

Cassandra wrapped her legs around his waist as he let their lips meet. Every inch of her front seemed to touch part of his, their bodies glistened with sweat as Cullen pushed himself to his knees their bodies remained connected as he pulled her up to him, she straddled her legs biting at his neck, his hands gripping her bottom. She knew control with him was an illusion; he made her want to do what he wanted. She kept up his slow pace. Time did not matter just their bodies pressed together.

Cullen held onto her waist and once again shifted his body so they were both lying down, this time her body was on top pressing into his until Cassandra sat up and arched her back. Cullen reached for her nipples and pinched as she rode him faster and harder. Their cries once again filled the cabin until a jagged moan escaped her lips and Cullen grabbed her hips and slid her up and down until he went rigid moaning.

Cassandra let herself fall to Cullen's side. "Maker's breath, I could not think of a more effective way to tire myself out."

"Yes, I believe I could sleep. Do you mind me staying a while?" Cullen pulled her so her head was on his chest. He knew the answer he just wanted to hear her say it.

"Stay," Cassandra said with a chuckle, her eyes heavy. Sleep claimed her as she listened to his heart beat. She woke several hours later, the sun not yet up, though the sky had lightened. Cullen was awake smiling at her. She kissed his chest.

"I should tell you what's going on, but you'll be angry." Cullen admitted.

"Will it affect the Inquisition?" Cassandra asked, not sure she was ready to be angry.

"It may," Cullen gulped and sat up his back to her. His muscles tensed as he seemed to find the words. "I stopped taking Lyrium."

"When did you do that?" Cassandra sat up, "Oh Cullen, Lyrium withdrawal has killed people, why would you go off it."

"I am no longer a Templar, I do not want to be bound to them, I gave so much of myself to the order, and just brought pain." Cullen cried, Cassandra came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his neck trying to sooth his pain.

"Why did you not tell me sooner?" Cassandra asked.

"I weaned myself down, but I had to stop taking it all together two days ago. I was fine until last night, my dreams…" Cullen turned, "I did not expect them to be so vivid."

Cassandra sighed confused and frustrated. "What can I do to help Cullen?"

"I need you to watch me. I need you to tell me if I become too unstable to lead." Cullen admitted.

Cassandra sat back down and covered up with her sheet, what he was asking would change everything. She could not allow herself to have a relationship with him and watch his behavior. She stared at his back; he remained facing away from her. "If you want me to do that, we can't do this again Commander. I could not be impartial if we were sleeping together."

"You are the one person here I trust." Cullen sighed and stood. "I enjoyed last night very much, but I understand."

Cassandra watched Cullen dress, her heart broke that she had to end the relationship before it began. "I heard you talking to the Herald, she asked if there was anyone special waiting for you back in Kirkwall. What did you tell her?"

Cullen sat on the side of her bed dressed. He cupped her face with hers and leaned toward her. "I told her there was no one in Kirkwall," he leaned in and kissed her slow, steady, and then pulled away. "I did not tell her that the person I found to be special came with me. You are certain it would not work?"

"Yes, I am sorry Cullen." Cassandra flinched as he stood up and crossed the room.

Cullen turned and looked at her one last time looking tired, weary, "me too." He said as he walked out the door.

Cassandra screamed at the ceiling in frustration. One day she would learn to think before she acted today was not that day. It was still early she stayed in bed sulking until she could take it no more, She cleaned herself up and went to the Chantry, she hoped the Herald would need her to bash something's head in before the end of the day.


	2. Chapter 2

Cassandra stood weary at her tent, all those people at Haven, they lost so many. The Herald lived, the tale she told was unbelievable, but there she was talking with Solas heading out of camp. Cullen had led them through the pass as she knew he would. Cullen had the ability to delegate jobs to those able to complete the tasks if not always the patience to deal with them.

She went to turn into her tent when she heard a giggle and a moan. Cassandra rolled her eyes. She was sharing a tent with Josephine and Leliana, and they were closer than they let others know. She did not care what they did in their private time in Haven. Who was she to judge? Cassandra's skin still tingled when she remembered Cullen's lips on her skin.

With a sigh she walked back to the fire. The women deserved to relieve stress, but she wanted to go to bed and sleep. The crowd gathered for the verses of "The Dawn Will Come" dispersed soon after. Mother Giselle had saved the moment the arguing was going in circles, she stopped the cycle.

Cassandra sat on a makeshift bench near the fire the snow all around sparkled under the moonlight. She wished that she could go back, that night with Cullen, she was not wrong though. Every fiber of her being wanted to run up to him and force him to take the Lyrium. He hid the symptoms well, but she saw him struggling to stay awake after long nights.

Cassandra shivered as a strong gust of wind hit the back of her neck. For a moment she wondered if she should sleep on the bench, it was wide enough and with a blanket the fire would be warm enough. The bench shifted as a warm body sat next to her on the bench. Cassandra looked to her left and there he was, Cullen sitting with his back to the fire. His eyes were dark with worry, his brow pulled together.

"I am sorry I yelled at you Cassandra," Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and turned away. He did that when stressed or embarrassed. Her temper had gotten better the better of her as well, she did not like seeing him upset.

"It was the stress Cullen, I understand." Cassandra's hand itched to touch him, his face, to turn him to her and make him too tired to worry. Instead she grabbed his gloved hand next to her and sat for a moment hand in hand.

"My mother would have boxed my ear for talking to a lady like that." Cullen chuckled. His thumb stroking the back of her hand as they sat hand in hand still. Even through the gloves it felt intimate, Cassandra knew she should take her hand back. The separation was her idea, Maker help her, she wanted to tell his she was wrong, that she could keep an eye on him and let herself love him. Instead she went with her head.

Cassandra let her eyes wander to the small scar on Cullen's upper lip. It begged to be traced with a tongue slow. She resisted the urge to pull his face to hers. He told her how he got it on the trip from Kirkwall. He got injured during the mage uprising after the chantry explosion. A mage not interested in seeing her friends die healed what she was able but her healing skills were not the best yet.

Cullen had grown friendly, close even, while she had interrogated Varric. The dwarf was hard to read, but she got the whole story. Now months later she tried to keep her heart in check. It had been at least two months since Cullen had asked her to monitor his behavior. Two months since he held her against his chest she remembered his heart beating.

"Cullen, I am glad you are safe. Tonight has been so…" She had no words for how she felt, how the night impacted her.

"Why are you still awake Cassandra? Almost everyone else is in their tents." Cullen asked his hand dropped hers and cupped her cheek.

Cassandra started to protest his touch on her cheek, "Cullen…"

Cullen shook his head and left his hand. "I can accept that we are not together, but let me have tonight to be concerned. From now on if we almost die I reserve the right to make sure you will be ok."

Cassandra met his gaze. "Josie and Leliana were talking, loudly."

Cullen laughed "Is that what you are calling it? They act like they are fooling everyone but it is so obvious that they are lovers. You know you could sleep in my tent."

Cassandra scowled at him, "Cullen Rutherford."

"I meant that I have my own tent, I do not sleep well and did not want to keep someone else awake. I could sleep by the fire." Cullen's hand slid down and now rested on her shoulder on the far side of her.

Cassandra tried to form a response. She pictured herself in Cullen's tent alone, the bedroll probably did not smell like him. His scent being a mixture of leather, clean musk, and elderberries from the pomade he put in his hair to calm the natural curls. She wondered if he knew he could get it in other scents. Her uncle used the same stuff and had it scented to something more masculine. She liked it so she refused to tell him about it.

"Cassandra you are cold," Cullen turned his body, so he straddled the bench instead and pulled her close to him. She did not want to give in but put her head on his shoulder. His fur on his coat warm against her cheek.

"People will see us." Cassandra argued but did not pull away. She wanted this all night, to be in his arms, for him to make her feel as if she would be safe again. The dragon had scared her, more than she would admit.

"No one cares who is in anyone else's arms tonight. We are alive, The Herald is alive." Cullen whispered into her ear, his breath warm on her ear.

Cassandra relaxed, he was right the only reason she cared that her friends had found comfort with each other is because it kept her out of bed. Cullen placed his head, so it rested on top of her head and the both watched the fire.

"Commander," A recruit called out. Cassandra pulled away, she missed his warmth when he stood to face the woman who had interrupted their thoughts. "You are needed for a moment in the army camps."

"Please don't leave Cassandra, unless you are going to bed." Cullen walked off, she watched him walk away his tight firm bottom held her attention.

Cassandra continued to sit on the bench. She would stay until he came back she decided. A different recruit came and built up the fire. The flames bathed her in warmth as the recruits worked. Cassandra let her mind wander not paying attention to her surroundings.

A gentle hand on her back drew her attention. "Why are you out of bed child? You need your rest."

"My tent mates forgot they had another person joining them. Mother Giselle, thank you for earlier." Cassandra turned to face the older woman. "And you, why are you up still?"

"There are many who have requested prayers tonight, I am almost done, but I saw you sitting here at first with the Commander and now alone." Mother Giselle explained. Cassandra blushed imagining how it looked the two of them cozied up on the bench.

"We should not have been so close." Cassandra stated.

Mother Giselle ran her hand over Cassandra's hand. "I did not tell you to bring you shame, you both looked at peace together."

Cassandra allowed a tear to fall, "It is more complicated than it looks."

"Turn it over to the Maker child do not let it crush you tonight. Ah, here is your young man, go to bed child." Mother Giselle stood and went to Cullen. "Take care of her, she needs a bed and comfort, I am sure you know where to find both." With that the elderly cleric walked off to minister to the last of her list.

Cullen chuckled, "Well you heard the lady." He said scooping her up off the bench.

"What are you doing?" Cassandra growled not wanting to draw attention to the Commander carrying her across the snow.

"I told you I do not sleep well, I rarely sleep more than a few hours anymore, I promise I will be the perfect gentlemen." Cullen laughed as he put her down in front of his tent. "If you do not go in I will have to walk you back to your tent. I can't promise how I will react if the Leliana and Josie are still talking."

"You win, but nothing can happen tonight Cullen." Cassandra reminded him she him as he opened the flap to the tent.

Cullen's face flashed with disappointed anger. "Cassandra I know of your requirements." He barked as she went through the door, He followed. "I have never forced my attention on anyone."

Cassandra paused as she undid her chest plate. "I am sorry Cullen; I did not mean to question your honor, Mother Giselle…"

"Wanted you to go to bed, and she seemed to think I could get you there." Cullen also took off his armor.

Cassandra sat on the bedroll and brought her knees to her chest. "I am sorry Cullen. I said it as much for myself. You have not once tried to get me to change my mind since that night. Please forgive me."

Cullen sat next to her, they both had plenty of clothing on, and the tent was cool. With the two of them in a small area it would warm up quickly. "You will trust me?" Cullen asked slipping under the covers.

Cassandra nodded and climbed in next to Cullen. She tried to stay near the edge of the roll to give him room but he pulled her close and kissed her forehead. She sighed, her whole body relaxed against his. Maker save her, they may not have made love, but there was no other way to explain what she felt as she drifted asleep, Cullen's hand caressed her arm.

Cassandra woke a couple hours later confused. The bed was still warm where Cullen had been lying so she rolled over and stole his pillow, had had the aroma of Cullen and the camp fire. It was not yet light out, so she made herself comfortable. She fell back to sleep smiling.


End file.
